Friday, January 8, 2010

Hot Wheels

My 60-year-old husband is a reckless driver. He tailgates trucks on the interstate, looks around at the scenery, takes curves way too fast, always goes over the speed limit and often veers over the center line and onto the shoulder of the road because he isn't paying attention. He also messes with the cruise control, radio and air conditioning. Riding with him makes me nervous, but if I say anything, no matter how nicely, he gets angry and speeds up.

Not long ago, we were driving home at night on the highway. It was raining, and the temperature was close to freezing.

Everyone else on the road slowed down, and my husband went speeding past. I was so upset that I started to cry. It made no difference to him.

He ignores me when I say I'm afraid he might hit someone and kill them or us. Surprisingly, if he lets me drive, I always do so carefully because he develops carsickness. Other than this, he is a wonderful, thoughtful man, and it confuses me why he doesn't respect my feelings and isn't concerned with my safety. What can I do?

— Nervous in Virginia

John says: First off, I'm going to assume the dishes are done or you wouldn't have the time to send in this ridiculous question. Right? Ok, now the first thing you should do is stop being such a wet blanket. When you're blathering on about how icy the road is and how you're afraid for your life, all he hears is "nag nag nag". If I were as old as you two, I would want to get where I'm going quickly. I wouldn't want to waste the last few desperate years of my life in a fucking car, much less have some clingy woman clucking in my ear about how I should be driving. I doubt he tells you how to make dinner or wash the windows. I suggest you get drunk early and enjoy making him some pie while he's out ram-rodding around. You'll both be happier.

Jamie says: He's an asshole and a pussy (carsickness?). He obviously makes a lot of money, or you wouldn't have married him. I applaud this, but really you need to stop whining. You knew what you were getting into, now shut up and take the abuse until he passes away. Then take what's left of his money and move to Florida with your special girlfriend, driving 35 all the way there. It will all work out. Patience is a virtue.

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